Ar 670 1 Shaving Essay

Ar 670 1 Shaving Essay-7
•May not use scissors, as I am not to be trusted with them to cut maps. •Not permitted to shout out the words “Ow, my moral! •Not permitted to march around government buildings holding a broom in place of a rifle. The normal units are all filled with profile riders, guys who think every six months is effective training, CSM who bolo, LTC who avoid fat camp due to missing paperwork, a large group who says they aren’t part of the problem even though they’ve accepted the problem and do nothing about it, and the small handfuls of good soldiers. Great indeed was their power at the period of the French Revolution.

•May not use scissors, as I am not to be trusted with them to cut maps. •Not permitted to shout out the words “Ow, my moral! •Not permitted to march around government buildings holding a broom in place of a rifle. The normal units are all filled with profile riders, guys who think every six months is effective training, CSM who bolo, LTC who avoid fat camp due to missing paperwork, a large group who says they aren’t part of the problem even though they’ve accepted the problem and do nothing about it, and the small handfuls of good soldiers.

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” (Submitted by SPC Casper) •I cannot, in response to orders that we wear our reflective belts after dark on the FOB wear NVG’s and claim that its not dark to me.Transcriber's note: The original book uses often colons instead of semicolons.Spelling of proper names is different in different pages and some words occur in hyphenated and unhyphenated forms. A couple of commas and periods have been added or removed to improve the reading and only obvious spelling errors have been corrected.•If you are a rabid Red Sox fan and the armorer is a rabid Yankees fan, do not taunt him on his team’s playoff collapse the day before you go to the machine gun range.•Do not send him the 2004 ALCS on DVD for his going away present when he gets orders for Korea either.•I cannot, in response to orders that we wear our reflective belts after dark on the FOB, stencil “ 5 Belt of Invulnerability” on it.•I cannot, in response to orders that we wear our reflective belts after dark on the FOB, cover it in 100mph tape, 90mph tape, duct tape, electrical tape, or wrap it in plastic, fabric, or paint it with camouflage paint for “tactical purposes”, under any circumstances.•The psychologist is able to grant me permission to play video games after losing my video game playing privileges. Unless you have enough evidence to cause rank loss but are withholding it for whatever OPSEC reasons apply. While it is great to respect a Vet even if some choose to wear mil-issue clothes mixed with jeans to the bar after their discharge, it is unforgivably sad for a “vet” who was “wounded” right before entering a combat zone causing his medical discharge to do the same thing. If you get a Bronze Star for the monetary value of equipment you had stored in a CONEX while deployed, and you’re proud of yourself, you’re a douche. You deserve whatever pranks coming to you for such douche-ness. Even if you’re an E-7 with the 1st Armored Division Headquarters out of Wiesbaden, Germany and get pushup happy with subordinates trying to make them respect you. Even if you’re an Equal Opportunity Rep who hasn’t helped anyone because they all complain about you. Be selective enough about your friends to have a bunch of good stories for your handful of normal buddies about your other buddies. If you know people who are stupid drunks, take a camera and keep a distance to have evidence for later use. If you work as a scout in a headquarters unit, you don’t and you’re gophers. If you work as an 11B in a headquarters unit, you’re admin-type gophers. If you’re anything but a gopher in a headquarters unit, you’re probably lying to someone…most likely yourself. Every unit is like the last one that told you the whole Army isn’t like it, unless you get into a secret squirrel type unit. (I am not kidding.) •Am not permitted to order others to “Turn one side of a billboard into cottage cheese, and another side into cotton candy.” (Submitted by CPL Tracer USMC) •Jumping off the roof of a six story building during a monsoon using a poncho liner for a parachute is forbidden. •Do not borrow ,000 from installation MWR for a unit activity then leave the country without paying them back. (Submitted by Cadet Vittles) •”United-fucking-States of Ameri-fucking-ca” is NOT an appropriate response to the Captain asking where you are from •”A professor told me to crawl through a wind tunnel” is not a good excuse as to why your dress pants are dirty •Will not yell “Who likes short shorts?I like short shorts” during PT •I cannot play with a ceremonial weapon unless I’m qualified to use it •And even then, I can’t use them for “Mortal Combat” •Axe-bombing (taping down the button and using the canister as a grenade) is not a good way to make friends •Riding the fast cadets in PT is cheating •”Fox-twat” does not refer to the letter “F” •”I’m only a freshman” does not get you out of doing work •Yelling “One, two, three, four, I love the Air Force!

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